July 10, 2009

It's Ashley's birthday

And we will eat cake (I hope). Kinda sad because we are gonna have to reschedule AngiePalooza 09. I don't think I can make it this Sunday. Worried about my brother Pedrito, who needs to get well soon. This post is nothing but little one liners. Patoncito se puso nervioso contra los Twins. Araceli is in town and probably now she can start planning her wedding with el HH. My new microwave oven rocks. GEC is a constant source of headaches. Oh, and Delaney is leaving the Burg forever next week!

July 07, 2009

Twin-ky wonder

A very nice dude decided to create a roster for MLB The Show 09 featuring all-time all-star players for the teams. I downloaded the roster and have enjoyed it a lot. I mean, sure it is hard and I suck at videogames, but when I win it's lots of fun. And I get to be/play with Ruth, Maris, Mantle, Winfield, Berra, etc. The other day my Puff Nettles was named Player of the Game with two homers and 4 RBIs, and we all know he is an awesome third base player. Anywho... I love seeing some old time enemies like Dodgers from the 80s or Red Sox from... whenever. Nevertheless, yesterday my all-time all-star Yankees played the all-time all-star Twins. Oh lordy lord. My Mel Stottlemyre was ready to face the Twins but  something bad happened. Chuck Knoblauch and Kirby Puckett were playing for the Twins. Suddenly, I wanted to hug them instead of playing against them. I couldn't do it. I had to intentionally walk Knobby whenever he was at the plate, and Puckett got nothing but easy-to-hit fastballs. Sure, I lost the game, but love was really needed.

July 06, 2009

Psychological reinforcement

Oh the power of one negative comment. Biking around (and here biking is used to mean riding a bicycle and not a motorcycle) the VT Drillfield is a pain in the ass. Well, more like a pain in the quads, but you get my point. There are no specific bike lanes and the way uphill is crowded with parked vehicles and the lovely BT buses that stop to drop and load people. If you are on a bicycle, good luck making it on the road there. So, lots of people use their bicycles on the sidewalks across the Drillfield. Yes, I know it's weird, but everybody does it. Furthermore, lots of people use their bicycles on other sidewalks around campus, and thar is justified to a point, since the VT campus does not have a lot of bike-dedicated lanes like, say, the NMSU campus does (and here I am talking about universities I know). Although I found it a little weird, I got into the habit of riding my bike on the sidewalk in order to make it through the Drillfield. I am always nice to people walking and stop and walk to avoid bugging them, or I say "excuse me, thank you" or even make a lame joke about how I am confused thinking the sidewalk is part of the road. They laugh, I move on. Well, about a year ago I was riding my bike on the way home, just in front of Burruss Hall, when a small group of kids probably here for orientation were walking ahead of me. I slowed down and announced I was behind them by yelling "Excuse me guys, thank you very much." Shit, that sounds friendly. I didn't even pay attention to the demographics of the dudes, but I wanna say they look like incoming freshmen who probably were convinced that 1) they ruled the world, and 2) I was a janitor or a poor moron who can't afford a motor-powered vehicle. One of the douchebags from the group yelled at me "It's called a sidewalk, not a sideride!" I stopped. I was preparing my speech on how the rules of roads in Pepesburg or wherever this pendejo of a gentlemoron was from were not the same as in the VT Drillfield, or probably tell him that, you know, I am not the university's provost... but... I am not 100% a moron. I decided not to say anything because I was getting very angry and didn't want to go all Pedrito on them. So I ignored them and left. Well, that shitty incident has affected me for almost a year. Now, whenever I am on campus I walk like an idiot dragging my bike whenever I hit a sidewalk, and I have developed a passion for the risk of being "suspended" (this a a reference to our years in high school) or fajeado on the road next to the buses. For almost a year I still can hear the probably by now chlamydia-infected and gunja-addicted idiot who yelled at me last summer. The power of negative reinforcement indeed.
Oh vindication... today we received a memo with VT's new bike and personal transportation policy, which clearly states that "bicycles are allowed on sidewalks but pedestrians have the right of way and bicyclists must be careful of and courteous to pedestrians." I have always been careful and courteous. Please join me in a secret negative thinking pledge and hope the dude who yelled at me last year chokes on a hot dog this summer.

July 03, 2009

For your consideration

Dear Hollywood producers,

Want to make a movie that will get lots of attention from the Latino audience? Want to have a crossover hit and introduce mainstream US audiences to a cult figure in Mexican/Latino culture and have lots of music/videos and other merchandising going around? Then consider a Pedro Infante biopic. We can assemble a cast with big names, and here's your lead. Seriously, send Diego to the gym for six months and let him bulk up.
Alg_rudo_cursi

Yours truly,

C. River

July 02, 2009

Pero no Iglesias

Es Julio. July is here. How did that happen? I have received very little feedback or comments on the Francisco Cespedes post. However, I guess George Lopez was right because most of my Mexican and/or Latino friends had to say I am mas puto for riding a bicycle to the office.

June 30, 2009

Mejor ni me acuerdo

There are albums you really can’t wait to listen to (I was gonna say “you can’t wait to get your hands on,” but with most of my music now being digital, I only get my hands on the iPod and not the actual album), and this year one of those was “Te acuerdas,” by Francisco Céspedes. Last year, Céspedes was touring Mexico and started singing some tunes that he planned to include in a new album of famous covers. Well, since he started talking about the album I really got interested, and for months I waited and waited. I have a good relationship with Céspedes’ music, and many of my friends and relatives also have it. For example, my friend and occasional roommate Concho River claims that he has seen more than a nekkid woman thanks to Francisco Céspedes’ music, and my brother Pedrito is a huge fan (and he actually has had the chance to hang out and party with the artist).
Pedrocespedes
Céspedes announced around last March that the album, titled “Te acuerdas” (Do you remember) was almost ready, and he only gave a few details about it. I searched and search for a track list on the Internets, and it wasn’t until late May when we found out which songs made it to the final cut. Then the search started for samples, and Concho (who is a bad boy) was even looking for a leaked version of any of the songs to hear Céspedes’ interpretation. Finally, the artist’s MySpace page posted a few weeks ago an mp3 of the first single, “Te extraño,” by Armando Manzanero, which 99.9% of the Spanish speaking world probably knows better as a hit from Luis Miguel in the 90s. The arrangement was obviously very different from the Luis Miguel version, and Francisco Céspedes gave it a bass-driven jazzy vibe that sounded interesting. I was not very convinced about the ad libs at the end with the backup singers, but that’s life. That first track only made me hungrier for the rest of the album. Knowing the track list, I was particularly interested  i finding out how he was going to sing some specific tracks that I really like in previous versions.
The album did not leak and Concho never got his hands on a dirty version. I downloaded it from iTunes last week and I immediately listened to every single minute of it. I actually repeated some tracks... but not repeating them because I liked them a lot and wanted to experience them again... but more like repeating them because I was thinking “really? is this how he recorded this song? for real?” Yep. I wanted to love this album, but the final version is very strange, affected by improvisational jazz instrumentation without any type of virtuosismo (no offense to the musicians). This was completely unnecessary, since we have heard in previous albums how the best instrument we could use here was Francisco Céspedes’ voice. Yes, let him improvise and shine virtuoso with the voice, but why mess up the music so much? Why change the arrangements until the music really doesn’t go with the lyrics.
Exhibit “a” is the first track, “Oh vida.” To make us remember, as the album title implies, the song starts with an actual sample of the famous Beny Moré recording of this song: same fanfare in the first notes and even Beny singing the first line. Then it mixes with Pancho and the jazzy mood that sets the tone for his album. Not bad. The voice works and the piano-driven melody is attractive. Howevs, 2:26 mins into the song there’s a weird little sing-a-long by the backup singers, and then it goes down to Jodecial improvs (as in Jodeci doing Little Steve’s “Lately”), and it really gets the listener going “WTF” when one of the DeVante Swing wannabes goes all “I wanna be with you foreveeeer” in English. By this time, Beny Moré would have died again. I see the intention in going from the original recording to the more “contemporary” soulful, bilingual adaptation... but... it doesn’t work. It just doesn’t work. The juxtaposition of sounds and styles is messy, and above all things the screaming backups drown the main resource of this song: Francisco’s voice!!
Cuerdas
The album tones down the “modernization” approach, and some of the tracks actually benefit from the jazz make-over. For example, in his version of Fito’s “Yo vengo a ofrecer mi corazón,” the drums and electric guitar transform the song. Obviously, it is not Fito’s electro-magic original, but it is actually not bad. And then Pancho had to try singing in French and... entonces sí se jodió el invento. In “Ne me quitte pas” let’s ignore (if that’s possible, that the acoustic guitar-crescendoes-into-drums-and-then-goes-down-into-whistling approach has nothing to do with the sad, desperate tone of the original song. But let’s not even think about the original Jacques Brel version... let’s take for example the Maysa Matarazzo version from the “La ley del deseo” soundtrack (remember last year I named that my favorite Almodovar movie, but that’s another story). Maysa is not a native French speaker (she is from Brazil). Céspedes of course is not a native French speaker. And that is the problem here. Remember I said the album’s best instrument was Pancho’s voice? Well, if the voice doesn’t work then nothing works, and in this mess of a track Pancho has a French Fail of proportions énormes. I adorbs him, but he can’t speak French! Why do this? The song is unrecognizable and butchers the original. So sad. A similar problem affects the artist in his version of “How deep is your love” by the BeeGees. First, he moves and shuffles around the tune so he can hit the notes without being a Gibb brother, and he ends up relying too much on the back up singers. And I know I should say any bad things about Waldo Madera because he is an awesome drummer who has played for Ricky Martin, Rapahel, Arjona, Betsy Pecanins, Sin Bandera, and Juanes (among many others). But Waldo is listed as being Pancho’s vocal coach for English pronunciation. I can imagine him training Céspedes as they train Asian workers at call centers, telling them to open their mouths wide to pronounce all the vowels. Seriously, Pancho’s English is so overdone here that his French sounds more like real English.
And the bad news are not over. The main reason why I was expecting this album so anxiously comes in track 6: “El día,” by Luis Demetrio (cuando las rolas son yucatecas, me enchilo si no salen bien). Pedrito loves this song, and Fernandel has been featured in the blog before singing his version. We have different covers of this song, ranging from the bolero ranchero with Javier Solís (or Rocío Banquells in the same genre), the peppy original by Angélica María (and its Grease-inspired updated by Tatiana), and of course the more traditional versions by Manzanero, Milanés, and Luis Demetrio himself. Céspedes’ version starts with the big problem of a faster-than-expected tempo. Not a horrible sin, but that forces the singer to run through the song. And then we have the music. I know Reiner is a good drummer, but the arrangement here doesn’t go with the song at all. You can separate the voice and music tracks and they are completely different melodies! You can add new lyrics with a new tune to the music and it would work ok. Reiner pauses and plays while Pancho keeps on singing. The improvisational approach is making me hate a song I love... when Fabián Alvarez enters in a flute bridge. Oh lordy lord. Since Luis Demetrio is no longer alive to defend his song, in the name of the state of Yucatan I declare myself temporary ambassador and denounce that this flute solo doesn’t follow the song.

Pancheto
The best moments (oh and the album does have a lot of great moments because Francisco Céspedes is a great artist) come when he sticks to the successful formula of his previous albums: the voice leads and the music is mostly piano. This was so effective in the Bola de Nieve tribute album, and the music was also nicer and in the almost mono-instrumental experiments of “Autorretrato.” Sure, he plays with a whole band in other albums, but he is doing mostly his own songs. Here, his version of Pablo’s “Mírame bien” is pretty good and with lots of feeling (or “filin” since it’s a Milanés kinda thing), and he is also good in “Solamente una vez.” Sure, he is playful with the melody, but you expect that from his voice, like he did with “Bésame mucho” in the past.
I hope Céspedes doesn’t read this and get mad at me. I still admire him lots and I can’t wait for a new album of original material. I also hope his awesome musicians in this album don’t take this the wrong way. There’s nothing wrong with being improvisational and jazzy... but that simply didn’t match these great love songs.

June 29, 2009

Day off (Guest Blogger: The Blue Honda Civic)

Hi, I am the Blue Civic. I am doing ok, thanks. I have decided to take the day off and I am sleeping here in Foxridge. Carlos went to the office in his bike. The first time in the year the lazy mofo touches the poor thing, but apparently he made it to campus and he is even happy. Here's the bike model. Of course, his is red and not white. I will try to enjoy the day off and go drink some oil with the Maguires' Volvo.

June 27, 2009

Nine years

Mom reminded me today that on June 27, 2000 I said bye bye to Mexico and moved to the United States. Nine years, people. That's a lot. I found a pic of how a wall of my old bedroom in Mexico looked like in 2000 (mom kept it intact for many years, until Manuel turned it into a warehouse).
Room1

Yes, the wall had not one, but two Michael Jackson posters. Nine years after that, we live in a very different world, don't we?

June 26, 2009

El día que murió Michael

Michael Joseph Jackson cried wolf. I take that back. Let's say the media hurricane and attention avalanche that always followed him (and here always is used really to mean from the day he was born to his sad passing yesterday, since he was pretty much on the spotlight ever minute of his career/life) cried wolf. Whenever something happened to him and he announced he had a medical condition or he was seen at a hospital, the rumors would start flying around radio, TV, news wires, and the Internet. Many times I head the words "Michael Jackson is dead." This was particularly frequent between 1990 and 1996, when I worked as entertainment editor and columnist for a newspaper in Mexico. During the Dangerous tour, and just when the first child molestation scandal started, Michael Jackson was in Mexico City. At that time I had a decent working relationship with Sony Music, and they sent me and my friend Alex Manrique (who probably is talking to Michael right now, if we are allowed to play with the idea of an afterlife just today). Alex and I flew to Mexico City and had our fancy tickets sponsored by Sony Music. We were big Michael Jackson fans, so it was hard to describe how exciting the whole situation was. Sadly, the scandal started and Michael cancelled the concerts. Liz Taylor rushed to Mexico City to be with him, and thousands of fans were left without seeing him in concert. Of course, that included Alex and me. Although the concerts were rescheduled a few days later, we had to fly back to Merida and because of work schedules we couldn't go back and we never got to see him in concert. In the worst days of the scandal, when he was hiding and nobody knew about his physical and mental condition, in the newsroom we were constantly attacked by those "Michael Jackson is dead" rumors. At one point, my boss told me to write an obituary "just in case." I did, and we kept that article in the system for a long time. Of course, Michael Jackson was not dead, and then my obituary became sort of an April Fool's joke that we would every now and then send on the internal wire and see who was gullible enough to fall for it.
That was then, and I wrote a long and detailed obituary for Michael. Today, when the rumors are actually true, even when it took CNN hours to confirm it, only when Jermaine finally addressed the press... I have nothing to say. The words are gone, and last night I was up until 2 am going from the radio to the TV to the computer to the iPods. I spent years of my professional life preparing for this day, and when it actually happened I have nothing to say. Well, I do. I have something to say.
Thank you, Michael.
To hear Michael's reply, click here.

June 25, 2009

Zeronimo

It took a couple of days, but the email monster is under control (for now) once the site visit took place. Seriously, those $25million grant proposals make people work lots.
Serapio